Nappily Ever After: A motivational analysis of Violet Jones

                     

Violet, a woman who struggles with her ideals and her authentic self. She is a successful marketing executive in the beauty industry. Violet’s motivation to meet societal beauty standards as a successful woman led to her insecurities and fear of rejection. The turning point of Violet is when she finally accepts her identity, rejects imposed beauty ideology, and refuses to seek other’s approval for her life’s choices. 

 

Character: Who is Violet?

Violet is the main character in the film Nappily Ever After. Growing up as a child, appearance was everything to her mother, Paulette. As an adult, Violet carries the concept of beauty ideology, which is associated with long, straight hair. There was a flashback scene that depicts Violet as a child with her hair straight and long. She was looking at the pool and wanted to jump for a swim. Her mother warned her not to get into the pool because she did not want her hair to get messed up. She disobeyed her mother and jumped anyway. When she got up, her hair became shrunk and messy. A little boy laughed at her hair. Her mother, instead of protecting her, went mad in the car with her and was furious that she had wet hair.

Violet is now an intelligent and beautiful adult. Her mother is very proud of her accomplishments and her appearance. She has achieved success in the beauty marketing industry, selling lipstick and creating commercials to promote beauty products. She is working in a predominantly white male environment that sees beauty differently and does not seem to understand that the product could sell with women portrayed with their natural beauty. Violet was okay representing this image. Her outfits are constantly elegant. Her hair is straight and long. And her heels are pretty. When she walks to work, people look at her and find her attractive, which Violet seems to like. 

 

Context: What happened to Violet?

Violet has been with her boyfriend, Clint, for two years. She is waiting for him to propose on her birthday. She wanted the night to be perfect, especially her hair. Unfortunately, she was passing by a place where kids were playing with water. Her hair got wet. She was panicked and furious. She made a $200 appointment to do her hair at a salon. This marked the beginning when things began to fall apart for Violet.

At the hair salon, Violet had a chemical relaxer put on her hair and her hair was falling. Violet was angry and disappointed.  

She met a brave and confident little girl, Zoe. 

 Zoe reminds her of the person she could have been if it were not for her mother's imposed beauty ideology. 

 She also met Zoe’s father, Will, who is the salon’s owner.

 Will values authenticity. He made natural hair products. When the hair incident happened, Violet was angry and requested to buy hair extensions. At the birthday dinner, her hair was well done. Her heels were hurting her. But she acted like everything was perfect. She was expecting her boyfriend, Clint, to propose.

 

Clint has something else in mind instead of proposing to Violet. Violet gathered her family and friends for a birthday dinner, waiting for Clint to ask the question.  He, instead of proposing, gives her a disappointing gift, a chihuahua named Lola, with a necklace to put on the dog. Violet does not like dogs. She was experiencing different kinds of emotions, confusion, disappointment, and shame. Her mother and her friends comforted her. Later, she confessed to her boyfriend that she was expecting a ring and her desire to be married and have a child. Clint also acts surprised and confesses that he is not ready to get married and that Violet is too perfect. He feels like he doesn't truly know her, despite being together for two years. The relationship has always felt new to him. With so much distress, Violet broke up with him and told him to leave. Clint left the house. Violet's life made a massive shift in terms of her identity.

Hair transformation plays a significant role in Violet's journey of finding her authentic self. After she broke up with Clint, she had short blond hair, portraying a completely different appearance and personality. She went out to drink with her friends.  Her hair got wet, and it became tangled and messy. Violet looks at her hair in the mirror as she drinks and enjoys life.

 She then decided to cut her hair bald. While cutting her hair, she had mixed feelings; she was rejoicing but also crying at the same time.  In the morning, when Violet looked in the mirror, she was surprised and screamed at herself.

 

After cutting her hair bald, Violet is no longer a representative of traditional society’s beauty standard. She wraps her hair and dresses modestly.  She becomes invisible. When she walks around, people no longer seem to notice or appreciate her beauty.  Her boss and coworkers look at her differently. She lost confidence in herself. She then participates in a women's group and learns not to let other people's opinions of her define her reality.

Gradually, Violet started to embrace herself. She becomes close friends with the little girl Zoe. She braided Zoe’s hair, experiencing what she wanted to have as a child, but her mother would not let her.  

Zoe’s father, Will, has an interest in Violet. He also helps Violet see life and beauty differently. Will highly value authenticity. Violet feels comfortable with him.

At the end, Violet learns to embrace herself. She went back with Clint. She is no longer trying to pretend to be someone else. She likes her hair and admits that she doesn't spend a lot of time doing it anymore.  

For her engagement party with Clint, she again tried to look perfect to meet Clint's expectations for his parents. She attempts to portray the same image with heels on. Finally gave up.  She went inside to reflect and left everybody outside. In front of her family and Clint, she runs and jumps into the pool for a swim, and other people join her. While they were in the pool, her mother’s wing fell off and was passed on to different people, symbolically of freedom and self-love.

After experiencing complex identity challenges, Violet quit her job when she realized that it was not the best place for her. She no longer wanted to continually portray women unnaturally. Her boss did not value her new ideology and did not favor other ideas.

At the end, Violet walks away with no one except her true self. She is now confident in herself and helps Will promote his natural product. She feels happy and enjoys life. She is free from others’ expectations.  

 

Character's goals: What does Violet try to achieve?

At the beginning of the film, Violet has mixed feelings about what she is trying to pursue. In fact, this is the movie's main point: finding herself. Her whole life, she has learned to project a false image of herself. Initially, she seemed to be okay with this kind of lifestyle. Until she broke up with her boyfriend, she felt disappointed, angry, and humiliated.  Now her goal is to find her authenticity and let go of society’s beauty ideology.

 

Appraisal Theory

Violet's Appraisals

Violet's appraisals to embrace her authentic self are interrupted by a ruined birthday and a hair disaster, which hinder her path toward self-acceptance. 

Violet experienced various kinds of personal emotions in her struggle to find her identity. The challenges she faced derive from both external situations and the internal interpretation.  Her emotional reactions reveal how she appraises the situation. Throughout Violet's hair journey, several scenarios illustrate how she evaluates the situation.

Primary Appraisal

Based on the appraisal theory, she initially learned to evaluate how to present a beautiful and perfect appearance, as her mother’s traditional beauty mindset values straight, long hair. The problem is that Violet's hair does not naturally grow straight. Her mother must keep on straightening her hair. As a child, Violet would have preferred to keep her hair natural and jump into the pool whenever she wanted, but she couldn't do that with her mother.  

In this primary stage of appraisal, Violet learns that having long, straight hair is beautiful and that it brings her joy.  As a successful adult in the beauty industry, she tries to portray the same image in lipstick commercials. There is a scene where she wears a stunning pink dress, straight hair, and high heels. On the way to work, people are looking at her and seem to validate her view of beauty.  She learns that her appearance matters to society. Violet unintentionally internalizes the belief to reject her authentic self.

Secondary Appraisal

In the secondary appraisal state, Violet decides to uphold the beauty ideology to present an ideal lifestyle and flawless appearance, thereby suppressing her identity. For example, even with her boyfriend, Clint, she feels the need to be perfect, and her hair must always look great.  As a result, she continually tries her very best to distance herself from anything that does not promote her beauty standard.  

Another example illustrating her management of beauty beliefs is the terrible hairdo incident, which disrupts both her ideal lifestyle and perfect appearance. For Violet's birthday, she went to the salon to get her hair done. They mistakenly put a chemical relaxer on her hair. Her hair starts falling, and Violet becomes angry, requesting that they put extensions on her hair. She wanted to look perfect for her boyfriend. She thought that her boyfriend was going to propose to her that night for her birthday. She was no longer happy about her appearance, particularly her hair. Her enjoyment was deprived because she equates unrealistic beauty standards with straight long hair.

 

Reappraisal

Following the traumatic hair incident and birthday disappointment, Violet faced various challenges and confusion. She cut her hair and became bald. 

 After meeting Zoe and Will, who showed her how to embrace her authentic self, she gradually learns to love her natural self.  She feels positive about her bald haircut. Though she cannot control her situation, she reevaluates her emotions and her goal, which were previously triggered by her appraisal. She distances herself from other people’s beauty approval. She becomes confident in herself and learns how to re-prioritize her values, rather than her appearance. She is no longer emotionally depressed and preoccupied with her appearance.

 

Expectancy-Value Theory

What is Self-Efficacy?

Self-efficacy is the state in which an individual evaluates a situation and measures their ability to deal with it. The potential one has to utilize his or her skills to face difficult challenges in various circumstances.

Violet's Self-Efficacy and Motivation 

Self-efficacy plays a pivotal role in Violet’s motivation. After Violet broke up with her boyfriend, she shaved off all her hair. Her self-worth was gone. Her self-efficacy takes a drastic change. She no longer has control of her ability to cope with the situation. She feels disappointed with who she is and her career.

Over time, Violet’s Self-efficacy changes. Violet, a beautiful and successful woman, possessed the ability to handle various situations with great effectiveness. Particularly when it comes to portraying a flawless image of herself. After the salon hair incident that caused her hair to fall out, and the terrible birthday gift, Violet loses her self-efficacy. It was as if she were going out of her mind. When her mother saw her haircut, she passed out. She could not believe the changes in Violet’s beauty. Violet cried and was unable to cope with the situation, to the point where she called her father for help with her mother's reaction.

Violet’s self-acceptance was problematic and caused her distress. Gradually, she learns how to accept her natural beauty. She bravely walks without a hair wrap or hair extension.

 
Violet's Sources of Self-Efficacy 

Violet’s self-efficacy is derived from all four different sources. Her ability to cope in various situations arises from her personal history, observations, and persuasions, as well as her physical states.

 

 Personal history as a source of Violet’s self-efficacy

Violet’s source of self-efficacy comes mainly from her personal history of beauty ideology. The memories that Violet recall from her childhood lower her self-efficacy in differentiating a worthy appearance.  

From the beginning of the film, it is noticeable how Violet learned how to take good care of her beauty as a child, even at the cost of her own enjoyment. She knows how to prioritize her beauty before anything else. As an adult, her past experiences portraying perfect beauty images have become an integral part of her daily routine.

 
Observation as a source of Violet’s self-efficacy

Observational behavior is also a source of Violet’s self-efficacy. Violet’s mother plays an influential role in her self-efficacy. Her mother has a negative influence on Violet’s self-perception of beauty.  Throughout her childhood, she observed how her mother valued physical appearance. As an adult, Violet normalizes this kind of behavior and how to act and be perfect. That is one of the main causes that led to her breakup with her boyfriend. Clint told her that he did not know who she truly was, even after two years of living together. From observation, Violet learns to tie her identity with social acceptance.

 

Verbal Persuasion as a source of Violet’s self-efficacy

Violet’s work environment convinces her that selling the wrong images of women to sell beauty products is effective. Her boss liked how competent she is in her work. She has the potential to portray the beautiful appearances of women and herself.  She learns from others’ approval that her physical appearance matters.  

Physiological state as a source of Violet’s self-efficacy

Physical states are a source of Violet’s self-efficacy. However, Violet likes to look perfect. She also deals with physical discomfort at the cost of her physical appearance.  She knows how to wear high heels, which causes her foot to hurt. Her mother came to her house early in the morning to do her hair. She did not like her boyfriend to touch her hair so that it would not get messy.  The film portrays different scenarios that show her ability to manage and maintain her physical appearance.

How Violet’s Self-Efficacy Influences Her Goal Striving 

Violet’s self-efficacy influences her goal striving in various aspects. Violet has the potential of having a false image.   During her hair transformation journey, which can be equated to changes in her beauty identity, she experiences various stages.  

 

Mastery beliefs, helplessness, and Learned Helplessness in Violet’s journey to self-love and societal liberation.

Mastery belief in Violet’s case is when she strongly believed in her appearance as part of her true identity. She then struggles and experiences helplessness. After the salon incident that caused her hair to fall out, she shaved her head, leaving her bald. She was no longer in control of her physical portrayal. This led to her moment of despair, a feeling of being unable to lead herself and succeed in her job. Violet developed a learned helplessness behavior toward life. That is, when she quit her job. She finally understands that she cannot control everything that happens and how others perceive her. She focuses more on what matters most to her, which is the ability to be herself.  Her appearance no longer plays a significant role in her life.

 After experiencing various challenges and realizing how her hair negatively impacted her identity, she has developed a different mindset, which can be equated to her hair transformation journey. Slowly, she let go of her magazine appearance and aimed for freedom through authenticity.

Expectancy -Value Theory Part II

Achievement Goal Theory: Violet’s Achievement Goals

Achievement goals seek to understand a person’s behavior in achieving a goal. There are two main types of achievement goals. Someone can develop either a mastery or a performance attitude toward accomplishing goals. Mastery goals focus on a positive outcome where the person is more focused on learning and competency. The performance goal, on the other hand, focuses on a negative outcome, where the person is more concerned about revealing his or her ability.

What is Violet’s Value?

Appearance as Violet’s value

Violet highly values her appearance. Value means what is more important to her. Violet’s appearance can be conceptualized as the reasons and goals that drive her actions and thoughts about life. In the context of the film, Violet's attitude toward her appearance plays a significant role in her daily life at work and at home.  

Performance Avoidance Goal:

How does Violet’s value and performance avoidance goal drive her motivation?

Based on the achievement goal theory, a performance goal occurs when a person tries to demonstrate her skill in comparison to others. In contrast, a mastery goal aligns more with someone who enjoys the learning process. In this context, Violet has a performance goals mindset, where her appearance is valued as a means to achieve her goal. Her appearance gives her confidence; specifically, Violet develops performance avoidance goals. She continually tries to hide her true self. Her appearance serves to showcase her ability at her job. For example, rather than dressing well because she feels good, she dresses to impress. Her appearance and her values influence her motivation to portray a false image of herself.  

 
Violet’s Performance  versus Mastery Goal

The beginning of the film portrays Violet as someone with a fixed mindset, seeking others’ approval and waiting for her boyfriend to propose. All her goals were aligned with what she thought she could control.  Toward the end of the film, Violet becomes a new person, with a mastery goal, a growth mindset. She is willing to let go of her job and embrace new possibilities.

How does Violet’s value change over time?

When Violet’s value and appearance change. She begins to reprioritize what is essential in her life. When she broke up with her boyfriend, she realized that her self-worth was misplaced. She was spending too much time on her hair. She feels better about who she is as a person, not because of her beauty.

It is noteworthy to see that when Violete’s values and goals change, her motivation also changes. Her motivation aligns with her new values. Her goal is to live her life without others’ expectations. As her values and motivation change, her worldview changes toward something more meaningful. For example, the job that had seemed to be going well was no longer something she cared about. She is more concerned about portraying a great image of women rather than merely selling beauty products.

Once Violet faced all her struggles and realized that she wanted to be free from others’ expectations, her behavior changed. She adopts a mastery goal mindset. She is no longer trying to avoid being seen as a perfectly beautiful woman. She is now enjoying life. Her worldview is more positive.

Self-Determination Theory (SDT)

Self-Determination Theory ( SDT) explains how individuals are self-motivated and self-determined. It describes motivation on a spectrum ranging from amotivation to intrinsic motivation. The three fundamental psychological factors that influence an individual's motivation are autonomy, competence, and relatedness.

Nappily Ever After illustrates Violet’s motivational transformation from multiple standpoints. One of the core themes of the film is how Violet’s perspective shifts from external motivation to more intrinsic motivation as she embraces her authenticity.  The Self-Determination Theory can well explain Violet's motivation. The phases that Violets experience demonstrate how self-motivation aligns with her actions. To begin with, Violet is a determined individual who lets lifestyle be determined by external factors such as society’s norms. She must go through different stages before accepting her authenticity.

Violet’s Autonomy, competency, and relatedness

From the beginning, Violet’s identity is negatively affected by extrinsic factors such as her appearance. Therefore, her intrinsic motivation is undermined. Violets highly values others’ expectations: her sense of autonomy decreased. It shows that Violet lacks independence, as she is unable to do as she pleases. Her actions are based on what people think of her. For example, her hair must be perfect for her boyfriend even when it comes at a cost to her own happiness.  It is challenging for her to maintain an ideal lifestyle because she lacks control over her situation. Her motivation to maintain this lifestyle decreases as she tries to be authentic.

Violet possesses a high level of competency, particularly in her career. However, we see that she has difficulty being herself in relationships with others. She valued other people's perspectives more than her own desire. Her relationship is based on how she wants others to see her rather than portraying a true image of herself.

Cognitive Evaluation Theory (CET)

The Cognitive Evaluation Theory (CET) is a sub-theory of self-determination theory (SDT). The Cognitive Evaluation Theory helps explain the way controlling and informational incentives and rewards influence motivation. It predicts the impact of external factors on intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation can be increased or undermined by controlling and informational aspects. When external rewards control extrinsic motivation, they enhance extrinsic motivation but decrease intrinsic motivation. Because it reduces the sense of autonomy, when it presents in an informational aspect, it increases intrinsic motivation by encouraging competence.

Based on this theory, Violet’s motivational changes can be analyzed in relation to the resolution of Violet’s identity dilemma when Violet meets the little girl, Zoe. After meeting Zoe, she has more control over what she wants because Zoe, in a sense, represents who she wants to be. Violet's motivation to embrace her true identity increases.

 Zoe, in this aspect, can be considered the external individual who influences Violet’s intrinsic motivation. Her autonomy increases, which in turn decreases her extrinsic motivation. Violets becomes more confident in who she is. She does not seem to pay too much attention to what people think of her. She becomes more capable of living her life freely. She illustrates her sense of independence when she leaves her job.

Another person who demonstrates the Cognitive Evaluation theory in the film is Violet’s experience with Will, Zoe’s father. Will is an individual who highly values intrinsic motivation. He is the owner of the hair salon, which demonstrates his autonomy. Many situations that occur demonstrate how Will encourages Violet with informational and constructive feedback. For example, when they go out on a date at the stunning garden, he assures Violet that she is beautiful despite her bald hair. He gently massages Violet’s hair with his natural oil. Eventually, we can see how Violet’s self-determination increases to the point where she trusts herself enough to do what makes her happy.

 

The Organism Integration Theory(OIT)

The Organism Integration Theory is also a sub-theory of Self-Determination Theory that explains various aspects of extrinsic motivation. It describes the process of motivation, how people can move from the least to the most self-determination.

Violet’s transformation highlights the steps that lead her from a state of amotivation to intrinsic motivation when she finally becomes capable of embracing her authenticity. It is essential to note that she was already a determined and motivated individual with considerable competence. However, her motivation was not aligned with what the film was trying to convey.  For example, at the beginning of the film, she lacks motivation to be herself, but she faces various challenges that ultimately lead her to embrace her true self by the end of the film. Based on the Organism Integration Theory, Violet’s motivation can be understood in relation to other types of regulation.

Amotivation: Violet has no motivation to embrace her true identity. She likes portraying a wrong image of perfection.

External regulation: Violet’s values are based on external expectations.  She enjoys others’ appraisal. She wants to look flawless for the sake of others’ approval, especially that of her boyfriend, Clint.

Introjected Regulation: Violet feels bad if she is in a situation that will make her appearance look bad.

Identified regulation: Violet understands that her value is in the wrong place. This is a critical aspect in understanding Violet’s motivation. It marks a turning point in Violet’s perspective on identifying her values and self-worth. This stage occurs after hair salong incident. After her long, straight hair was messed up, and she did not receive the wedding proposal, she started behaving in a way that mattered to her. Her actions aligned with her goal to be free from society’s expectations.

Integrated regulation: Violet is satisfied with who she is. This is when she meets Zoe and Will.

Intrinsic motivation: Violet is finally in a position where she enjoys her life. She walks away with more self-determination to live freely. She adopts a different lifestyle that aligns with her values.

 

 

 Secondary Control

How Violet’s belief impacts her motivation experience

Secondary Control is a change in someone's belief to cope with challenges.  

In Nappily Ever After, Violet’s belief shows a significant impact on her motivation. One aspect that demonstrates Violet’s change of mindset is when she learns to let go of unattainable goals.  She becomes aware that it is not her responsibility to change people's ideology about her lifestyle. She undergoes a series of experiences that help her adapt to a new mindset.

In the aspect of Secondary Control, individuals' actions tend to lean toward an internal sense of purpose rather than an external one.  After the unexpected situations that caused Violet’s disappointment, she finds meaning in setbacks. When her boyfriend did not propose, her mother was disappointed with her new lifestyle. She developed a sense of purpose in the pursuit of her true identity. Her expectation of constantly looking flawless decreases, and she no longer relies on her self-efficacy; she accepts her new reality.

It is essential to understand Violet’s current situation at this stage of her new mindset. Everything she used to value is suddenly gone. She has no boyfriend, no hair, and ultimately no job. Yet Violet has a sense of power that leads her to take intrinsically motivated actions. She chose to be with Will, regardless of her mother's disapproval of his social status as a barber. Violet relies more on her inward peace rather than society’s approval.

Another important aspect of Secondary Control is Violet’s new priority, which reflects her motivational well-being as she seeks a new path to happiness. Her priority shifted from what she can control to what she has strong hope for in the future, even though she has not yet seen it. Although it is not mentioned in the film, it seems that her faith in a superpower, God, increases. People who have faith in God do not often let situations dictate their motivation or emotional well-being. Instead, they believe that God is working on their behalf, and they hold a positive outlook for every challenge, especially those they cannot control.  Their views are often optimistic.

Violet’s new mindset: Hope for success

She becomes very optimistic about her new lifestyle. The last scene of the movie shows that when Violet walks away with no man, no stable job, but her true self and happiness.

 

In Violet’s case, initially, she attempts to control and change her situation through constant self-portrayal perfection. Secondary Control occurs when she refrains from trying to control everything in life. Violet’s hope increases to do what she wants, and her fear of appearance decreases.

 

 

 

 Attribution Theory 

Attribution theory explains how people perceive and assign causes to situations. When experiencing unexpected events, people often ask themselves, “Why did this happen?” There are two main types of attributions: internal attributions, which relate causes to a person’s abilities or traits, and external attributions, which relate causes to situational factors.

How Violet’s Attribution Style Affects Her Emotions and Motivation

Violet exhibits a range of emotional reactions that can be analyzed using the three dimensions of attribution theory that influence motivation and emotions: locus, stability, and controllability.

Summary of the Event That Triggered Violet’s Emotions

Violet was deeply disappointed when her boyfriend did not propose to her. In response, she shaved her head, which drastically changed her appearance and affected her self-image. She experienced a series of negative emotions, from the lack of other’s approval. Eventually, she developed a sense of intrinsic autonomy and embraced her authentic self. By the end of the movie, it becomes clear that everything happened for a reason, ultimately leading Violet to discover her true identity. Throughout her journey, several events were difficult to attribute to a specific person or action, which contributed to her emotional turmoil.

The three dimensions

• locus
• stability
• controllability

Locus: Internal vs. External Causes

Was the cause of Violet’s distress internal or external?

Although Violet believed in her ability to maintain perfect appearance, the incident at the hair salon, where a mistaken chemical product ruined her hair, was an external cause. It was an unfortunate accident that occurred on her birthday, a day she hoped her boyfriend would propose. She asked the hairstylist to apply hair extensions to fix the damage, but the situation was beyond her control. In other words, there was nothing she could have done to prevent it. This led to intense negative emotions and frustration.

Stability: Stable vs. Unstable Causes

Did Violet perceive the cause as stable or unstable?

From Violet’s perspective, the situation was an unstable cause. She struggled to understand why everything was going wrong. Several scenes depict her frustration and confusion about the events unfolding around her. One of the most symbolic moments was when she cut her hair, expressing her inner turmoil. Despite her efforts to maintain a flawless appearance, it did not lead to the outcome she had hoped for—her boyfriend’s proposal.

Controllability: Controllable vs. Uncontrollable Causes

Did Violet feel she had control over the situation?

Violet’s experience involved a mix of emotions regarding control. She perceived the events as uncontrollable, which pushed her out of her comfort zone. The situations she faced were not due to her own actions, and she couldn’t prevent them. This lack of control contributed to her feelings of helplessness. However, these uncontrollable events ultimately led her to a journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

 

Control-Value Theory (CVT) of Emotions and Motivation.

The control value Theory of emotions and motivations framework explains how an individual evaluates himself or herself based on two appraisal factors: control and values. That is, the amount of control someone has over a task and the value the person assigns to it will determine and affect the person’s emotions and motivation.

 Violet Control and Values Appraisals

From Nappily Ever After, different aspects of Violet's control over her situation can be analyzed. To align the unfolding story with the CVT, it is more reasonable to evaluate Violet’s control from a resolution standpoint. Violet's Control and value of her situation ignited after she lost everything she used to control and value. In other words, her situation becomes uncontrollable, leaving her to learn how to put her values in the right place. She then gains a high level of control over the current situation when she finally learns how to prioritize her own values rather than others’ expectations.   

How much control and value does Violet have over the outcomes of her situation?

After Violet learns to embrace her authenticity, she has a high level of control and value over her situation. She now makes reliable decisions that align with her goals.  For instance, Violet goes out with Will despite the socioeconomic status differences and her mother’s disapproval.

 She values her choices. In general, she adapts to a new ideology of her beauty and how it should be portrayed in society.  Because of her belief, she becomes more resilient and emotionally stable. At the end, she has control of her situation and values her beauty in a way that aligns with her authenticity.

How does Violet’s control and value affect her emotions and motivation over time?

At the end of the film, Violet walks away freely, with so much joy and pride deriving from her high level of control and her appreciation for both her present and future situations.  There is a sense of fearlessness and hopefulness for her future endeavors.

In contrast to her previous lifestyle, marked by regret over what she should have done as a child and by sadness over a lack of confidence to do what she wanted, Violet becomes more joyful about her life choices. A great example of this is when she jumped into the pool in her special-occasion attire in front of everyone.

 Something she wanted to do as a child but could not because of her mother’s strict beauty standards, wet and curly-hair ideology. When Violet adopts a new mindset, she gains more control over her emotions.  Her encounter with the little girl Zoe and Will influences her positive feelings. Violet becomes happier with her new state in life.  She does not seem to care about portraying a perfect image of herself to be loved and accepted. Violet’s positive emotions enhance her motivation to be her authentic self.  She believes in her new value that she could live without others’ expectations. The positive outlook Violet adopts in this new chapter of her life gave her the strength and courage to move forward with great boldness. 

 

Self-Conscious Emotions Theory

Self-conscious emotions, such as shame, guilt, pride, and embarrassment, are emotions that individuals experience through an internal self-appraisal.

Violet Experiences Embarrassment and shame

In Nappily Ever After, Violet experiences a range of emotions. Among the three primary self-conscious emotions, Violet is exposed to a series of embarrassing and shameful events that challenge her worldview. The two main embarrassments and sources of shame that Violet experiences are the hair salon incident and not receiving a proposal for her birthday.

 Since Violet equates beauty with long, straight hair, she interprets her current bold hair, which resulted from an accident at the salon, as unattractive. She was embarrassed to show her hair and felt ashamed of her beauty. She displays that when she meets the women's group. She wraps her hair with a scarf. She does not want others to see it. The leader of the women’s group asks her to let them see her hair. 

That is a powerful scene in the film. Symbolically, Violet unveils her embarrassment and shame. She finds comfort in seeing that other women, who are experiencing serious health issues, also lose their hair and are experiencing the same emotions. 

Another event that demonstrates how Violet experienced embarrassment is when Clint did not propose to her during her birthday dinner. 

 Instead of proposing, Clint gave Violet a Chihuahua as a birthday gift. That was an unexpected and embarrassing gift. Before her birthday, Violet had already told her mother and her friends that she suspected Clint would propose to her after two years of dating.

When she received the Chihuahua, she felt embarrassed in front of her family and friends. That was an awkward situation for Violet, knowing that she was beautiful and perfect. This self-conscious feeling of embarrassment was the source of the external emotions that led her to self-reflect and ultimately discover her true self. 

Why did Violet demonstrate embarrassment?

The Self-Conscious theory explains the appraisal factors, such as failure and success, that lead to different emotions.  That is, if someone is aware that he succeeds, it leads to positive feelings of pride, and if he fails, it leads to shame, guilt, and embarrassment.

In Violet’s case, experiencing embarrassment and shame was a result of external factors that did not meet her expectations and social standards.  She feels disappointed that people treat her in such a manner. For example, she could not believe that Clint did not propose, knowing that she had tried her best to stay beautiful and perfect. She couldn't believe that her long, straight hair was in such a condition. She feels bad about herself and her values. 

What attributes triggered Violet’s embarrassment?

Violet interprets and manages her situation with extreme internal emotional outcomes. In Violet’s pain and emotional outburst, she was confused about the reason these situations occurred. As the audience watches, it is logical to assume that this is due to internal attribution.  She feels shame and is embarrassed because she took others' actions and beliefs about her too personally and associated them with her image. She thought that she could control the outcome of situations if only she behaved a certain way.

 Violet realized that she cannot control every situation, which helps her manage her emotions and increases her motivation. 

She comes to term that there is nothing she can do to make Clint propose to her. She had already tried to be perfect and beautiful for him, yet he did not propose. She could not control what happened with her hair, nor could she make it grow fast. Everything around her becomes unstable. 

 Though Violet faced these emotional challenges, the self-conscious emotions she experienced triggered her path to authenticity.